


Don't cry...

by ellizabethnoelllla



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Death, Engaged Marc and Nathaniel, Lung Cancer, M/M, Marc Anciel & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug are Cousins, Marc Anciel dies, Sad Ending, adult characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:49:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26993179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellizabethnoelllla/pseuds/ellizabethnoelllla
Summary: "Please don't leave me alone""Unfortunately, this is independent of me, baby ..."Who would want to hear that the love of your life is sick with a terminal disease? Exactly, no one. Nathaniel cannot find a place for himself when he learns that the most important person in his life may be gone forever. Irrevocably. Amidst the memories, the happy and the bad times, he tries to spend a lot of time with his fiancé. He begins to fear more and more that he will hear what he never wanted to hear ...My fanfiction translated from Polishlink to the Polish version https://my.w.tt/JL3HckFAyab
Relationships: Alix Kubdel & Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel & Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Kudos: 4





	1. Why?

"Unfortunately, Mr. Anciel suffers from a terminal disease. the doctor's words reflected in his mind. " This is just the "beginning" of the disease, so we will do our best to cure it.  
After these words, Nathaniel left the hospital for a while. He needed a bit of fresh air, but he knew it wouldn't help him. Who would want to know that your love of life suffers from lung cancer? Exactly, no one. He couldn't imagine life without his fiancé. He didn't even know why the cancer had caught him. Black-haired man has never smoked, indeed! After all, he hated the smell of tobacco. He avoided any contact with the people who smoked, even Nathaniel avoided any contact with cigarettes and other such things, as he knew Marc avoided and hated them very much.  
He just felt bad. He was broken, angry and furious. Furious and angry, he was at himself. He didn't notice Marc was starting to cough and lose weight. It was easy for him to notice, after all they lived together. But he knew that Anciel was most likely hiding his malaise from him. He didn't know why, maybe he just didn't want him to worry about his health? Only after he began to choke did he call an ambulance. It wasn't normal. Nobody chokes for no reason. He slowly sat down on one of the benches by the hospital, then hid his face in his hands. Nothing was reaching him. He tried to figure it out somehow. He felt as if everything had come down on him like a bolt from the blue. All his reality began to fall apart. He knew it would. After all, life was always putting obstacles under his feet and making everything difficult for him. And just when he achieved Zen, some peace in life, everything fell apart. He didn't notice when he started crying. Crystalline tears that looked like tiny diamonds began to flow from his eyes.  
He didn't know what to do with himself, so he took out the phone, trying to calm down, and dialed the only person he could talk to. His hands were shaking and his breathing was still restless. He felt like he was about to pass out.  
\- Hello, Nathaniel? Something happened? he heard a worried voice on the other side of the phone. He tried to say something but couldn't. - Nathaniel, breathe easy. Tell me what happened.  
The redhead took a deep breath, then began to speak in a trembling voice:  
\- He's sick, Alix. He has cancer, can you imagine that?  
The pink-haired woman fell silent. This awkward silence lasted only a few seconds, but for Kurtzberg it was only a few minutes. Infinite minutes. Even on the phone, he could hear his best friend swallowing.  
\- I'm going to you, I can't leave you like this. Give the address of the hospital. she said firmly.  
\- Hopital de la Croix Saint-Simon. he replied.

\- Okay, I'm on my way to see you. Try to calm down somehow and I don't know, go to him. Anything. she sighed. "I know it will be difficult for you, but you love him, don't you?" He needs you too, at this difficult time for both of you. I am finishing this, I will be there soon. - quickly ended the conversation.  
He hung up, too, then looked blankly ahead. Was he supposed to go to him? He really wanted to, but he was afraid. He was afraid to look into those green, once-emerald eyes that were now duller, lifeless. He didn't want to see him like this, it would break his heart. But he knew he had to be strong, if not for himself, then for his rainbow. He got up slowly from the bench, his legs trembling, and headed for the center of the clinic. He immediately went to the bathroom, he did not want to show himself to his beloved, in such a bad condition. He washed his face quickly. As soon as he left it, he headed for room twelve, where his ray of sunshine was. He paused a second in front of the white door. He was afraid, he was so fucking afraid. Finally, with a trembling hand, he opened the door and stepped inside. He saw his fiancé, sitting in a hospital bed, writing something furiously in a blue notebook. He looked up at the sound of the door opening and the noises made by shoes on the floor. In one moment, his eyes lit up, and a smile bloomed on his face that made Nathaniel melt.  
\- Nath! he said, and the red-haired man's heart began to beat faster, as at the beginning of their relationship. He didn't know why, but how the green-eyed man spoke his name melted his heart. His already so broken heart after what he found out. The only thing he didn't know was how Marc was still happy, as if he didn't lose positive energy. Amazing. - Hey, sweetheart. - Greeted him with his slight smile. How was he supposed to smile when his luck was slowly dying? He walked over to him and hugged him lightly. - You know that I love you? he asked in a whisper, as if afraid as if the whole world was listening to what he was telling its sun.

All he heard was the laugh of his love.

\- I know, you tell me this every day. Marc asked. He felt Anciel's one hand go to his red hair. The brunette wound himself one strand of his lover's hair on his ring finger. - And I always answer that I love you more. he laughed again. Nathaniel could give anything to hear that sound always.

\- Yes. - Chuckled, fire-haired, stroking him gently on the black curls.

They sat for a long time, hugging and whispering to each other how much they love each other. The red-haired man brightened a little after hugging his sun. Honestly, Marc had given him strength every day and he couldn't imagine that he might not be there for him. He loved him too much to lose him. Because if it hadn't been for Anciel, he would have given up long ago and wouldn't have fought anymore, at all. Since he had someone to wake up for every day, it seemed normal to him everything they did together. They got up in the morning, around seven o'clock every day, because they were both going to work at eight. They were doing normal activities such as getting dressed, brushing their teeth, and eating breakfast. But one thing did not change, each morning when everyone left for a different job, they shared a kiss on the lips. Anciel's lips, he thought, were soft and delicate. He loved kissing them. Their color reminded him of bright roses, which he often saw.  
Suddenly, they both heard the hall door open. Alix was standing there swinging. A friend of Nathaniel. After breathing a while, the pink-haired woman was finally able to breathe normally.  
"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I have to get your lover, Marc." Kubdel spoke. - Don't worry, I'll give it to you. Wake up, Romeo, we need to talk. And you rest, Marc.

Nathaniel nodded, then kissed his rainbow on the forehead. After a while he got up from the bed, his fiancé, so that he could rest or sleep, and joined his friend. They both headed to the café located in the hospital. The woman told him to sit at one of the tables, and she herself went to one of the machines.  
\- Anything special? she asked, looking at the drinks and snacks. - Why am I asking, you always drink black coffee. - she laughed softly under her breath. After a while, she had already tossed the money into the vending machine. A few seconds later, she was holding two bars and two drinks. One coffee and one fizzy drink. She sat down next to her friend, handing him a coffee and a candy bar. - Now, please describe the whole situation. 'Cause all I know is she has lung cancer.

\- Remember how a few days ago I told you that I was worried about him because he kept coughing and his weight changed, even drastically? Kubdel nodded yes. She remembered it very well, it was even imprinted in her mind. Then he almost cried, because he was very worried about the health of his beloved. - Well, today, it was even worse, because he was not coughing. He was choking, Alix. Of course, I called an ambulance and after a few tests I heard it was cancer. In the early stages. he sighed and took a sip of the drink. "There is a chance he'll recover, but ..." He broke off.

\- You are afraid of? Oh, Nathaniel. You're a goddamn pessimist. she growled, but he couldn't sense any hostility or hatred from her. She just didn't understand his behavior. - Best, chase away those pessimistic thoughts, think positive at least once in your life. she said.  
\- I'll try. he muttered.  
\- Don't try, Nathaniel. It won't do anything then, do it for him. Think positive. - she bit the candy bar. “I know it's hard, but you can't be very pessimistic about life. You won't get far on this, Nath. she slapped him on the head.  
\- Ouch! For what? - He made a bad face, looking at his friend.  
\- I'm stimulating your brain, genius. I'll do so many more times as long as you don't pull yourself together. she stepped on his foot.  
\- Okay, I'll get it right. Just don't hit me, have mercy woman. he bellowed.

\- Okay, I have pity. What, we will give your treasure a moment to rest and go to your apartment to get his things? He's definitely not going to get out of here any time soon, so he could use some fetch. Come. she announced, then threw the empty can and paper into the trash. Reluctantly, Nathaniel got up, did the same, and followed her towards the car.

Pink-haired, she opened the vehicle and showed him to sit down, and after a while she sat down next to him, in the driver's seat. There was deathly silence on the drive to the apartment where Marc and Nathaniel lived. The redhead looked thoughtful, and Alix didn't want to tire him more. She saw what her mental state was, her heart ached when she saw her best friend in such a state. But what could she do other than help him somehow, motivate him and give him a so-called kick in the ass? She heard the man sitting next to her taking out her phone and typing a code into the device and sending a message. The only sound the two heard was the sound of raindrops bouncing on the car windows, a blue-eyed woman.

A storm broke out in Kurtzberg's head. Many thoughts and sometimes even black scenarios swirled in his head. But he could honestly say that Alix could kick the ass to motivate someone to do something. Sam knew he should be positive. He shouldn't worry so much, he should be of good cheer.  
Well, that's what he was doing. He focused on the good scenarios and ignored the bad ones. He knew they would come back to him eventually, like a boomerang, but he didn't want to think about them. Because he knew it was going to get him down. He didn't want this. Very deep in his heart, there was a thought and more than a thought, the hope that Marc would recover. Just because this cancer is deadly, it didn't necessarily mean it was going to die. Truth?

All he wanted was for it to all be over, gone. He asked for nothing else. He wanted it.


	2. Four walls and a loved one

Marc stared blankly at his room window. It felt strange being locked up in one room. As if he was lonely, and that wasn't true. He had Nathaniel next to him. The person he loved with all of himself. It was raining, he loved the rain. He wished he could go outside. After all, he knew it would worsen his health. He wanted to recover and go back to his apartment and Nathaniel's. Unfortunately, he knew the chances of it were slim. But nevertheless, he believed that he would recover and leave this place.  
He never liked hospitals. The smell of different detergents and drugs made him sick. The only thing he remembered from his childhood were empty rooms with white walls. He was sickly since he was a child, so it did not surprise him that most of his memories were related to such rooms. He knew that if it weren't for his parents, who as soon as he started to feel bad and not well and tried to fix something, he wouldn't be here.

He listened to the sound of raindrops. Alix recently took Nathaniel and he was left alone here. He didn't know what to do, so he decided to pick up the phone and at least write to his mother or Marinette that he was in the hospital. She was his cousin after all, she should find out. He quickly wrote two messages, to his mother and his cousin. He didn't get a quick reply, but he knew it was late. Probably both are taken. Marinette is getting married to Adrien in a few months. He regretted that he probably wouldn't be there. He sighed heavily, then covered himself with the blanket. It was freezing cold in the hospital. He decided to get some sleep, maybe by then Nathaniel would rest, eat something to regain his strength and take a shower? He didn't want his redheaded happiness to overstrain and neglect. He cared about his happiness. It may seem strange or not, it depends on who is looking at the situation, but the black-haired man wanted Kurtzberg to arrange his life as if he had failed to recover. He really wanted the black-haired man to be happy and find someone who would love him as much as he would love him.

He closed his eyelids gently, then slowly fell asleep.

***  
Nathaniel walked slowly into the room where Marc was staying. In one hand, he was holding a bag belonging to his fiancé, in which he packed clothes, towels and soaps, including shampoo, and in the other, a net with small purchases for his fiance. He didn't know how he would live in an empty, quiet apartment, without Anciel. It was hard for him to imagine. He quietly put the bag down beside his bed and placed the net on a table nearby. After putting everything aside, he walked over to his fiancé who was sleeping peacefully. He gently stroked his hair and kissed the corner of the sleeping man's mouth. He then touched his cheek. His skin was soft and delicate to the touch. He gave a gentle kiss on his cheek and forehead.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Marc blink softly. "Oh no, I woke him up," Nathaniel thought. He stroked Marc's hair, which was soft.

\- Did I wake you up? - He asked, still stroking the dark-haired man's cheek with his thumb.

\- No, don't worry. he replied, then got up to sit down. - Can I hug myself, not really? he asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. His tone and the way he asked the question was damn cute, Kurtzberg could have sworn he was melting away. He nodded gently, then moved closer to his fiancé so that he could cuddle up to his torso. - You know that I love you?  
A laugh answered him, from the redhead.

"Of course, I've known that for twelve years, honey." he smiled and plunged his nose into Anciel's hair.

\- Oh yes. - Green-eyed laughed. Kurtzberg has long since realized Marc had a lovely laugh. For good reason, he once recorded it on his phone and set it to a notification sound. Thanks to this, he could hear this sound at any moment.

\- You remember, don't you? You haven't forgotten about that day, did you? he asked with a little uncertainty.

\- How could it be otherwise, tomato. - smack him gently on the top of the head. Yes, Marc loved that idiot.

He remembered telling him that for the first time, one spring day.

***  
There was relative peace in the art room. Relative, because in Marc's mind there was a great uproar. He planned to tell Nathaniel, his comic book partner Ladybug today, about his feelings towards the artist. Honestly, he fell in love with him the first time he saw him in the art room. He doubted the redhead would ever notice him. He was just a strange and insignificant boy who wrote in his journal under the stairs. There was no chance that someone so talented would take an interest in him. Truth?

He straightened up in the chair. He was waiting for Nathaniel, running late again. In fact, he was in a different class than the black-haired one, so it was known that they would not come to the club at the same time. He was understanding for the redhead, did not expect anything from him. Even the reciprocity of his feelings. He sighed, then continued to write their comic book. By the way, he wondered how to put it all into words, what he wanted to confess to a friend.

After a few minutes, a tired Nathaniel ran into the hall. He was tired and sweaty. Most likely he was running towards the art club. The first thing he noticed was Marc writing in his journal.

\- Hey, Nathaniel. Take it easy, breathe. Why were you running? - He came to his friend, you did not have to hurry. - He smiled gently.  
\- I know, but I didn't want you to wait for me. he said when he felt the other boy's hand on his hair.

\- Idiot. - he laughed under his breath. - Sit down. he ordered, then settled himself in his place as well.

Then they started working normally, and Kurtzberg finally breathed out after running. There was silence, broken by the sound of pencils and ballpoint pens sliding across white pages. Alix and Marinette entered the art room at one point. The former immediately put on the mask she needed and started finishing her graffiti, while the latter sat down at another table and went back to her hat design. The blue-eyed teenager decided to break the silence by turning to his friend.

\- Marc, can I ask you a question? he asked, scratching his neck. Anciel immediately looked away from the side on which he was currently writing, looking at the other boy.

\- Yeah, what's up, Nate? he replied, putting the notebook aside. - Something happened? he asked.

"No, it's just ..." He broke off and breathed out. - Do you hate me or something? If so, then I will understand, after all I got akumatized because of me ... 'He broke off, looking at the boy.

\- I don't hate you, Nate. You're an idiot to even think about it. he chuckled a little. - I have forgiven you a long time ago, it was a misunderstanding and that's it. Besides, I couldn't hate you, fool. ”He ruffled his hair. "I love you too much to," he quickly clapped his hand over his mouth. Sure thing I had to blow it up, he told himself.  
He quickly covered his face, all red. He felt like an idiot, he said it on the spur of the moment. He didn't know how to react. He was afraid of the reaction of his friend, most likely of his former acquaintance. He hadn't realized when he was caught in the grip by Nathaniel. He gently stroked his hair and back, trying to calm him down. He knew he was embarrassed and hadn't planned it, but he thought it was ... kind of cute that he said it unexpectedly. That's why he loved Marc, for such small and small details.

\- Too, I love you silly.

***

\- I'll tell you, you were cute then when you were ashamed. Nathaniel laughed softly.

He only got a headache from his lover. Who looked like a pissed little dog. "Sweetie," flashed through his mind.

\- Remember what happened a few months after that? he asked. Nathaniel's face turned serious. He remembered too well. This argument was unnecessary, he understood it only now. It shouldn't be happening at all. He felt bad then that he yelled at him at all, for something that the black-haired man had no influence on.

"You don't deserve me, I think we should break up at all. It doesn't make sense."  
He hated himself for saying the words. The truth was, he didn't deserve Marc. He was too good, too delicate. He forgave him everything. He didn't want him to apologize for what Nathaniel had done wrong. He was glad that he had forgiven him at all. He felt that Anciel really deserved better. Someone who wouldn't hurt him all the time.

\- Hey, land to Nathaniel! - said his fiance, who noticed that he flew away. "Forget it, I shouldn't have reminded you of it." he sighed, devastated at himself. - Every relationship had its ups and downs, but we don't need to dwell on that. What's done won't come undone, right? - He looked at the lover. After a while he snuggled again, against the chest of the red-haired man.

\- Well, right. He replied, and then put his head on the hair of the green-eyed man.

Fortunately, there were more good memories, and their quarrels were about little things that meant nothing.

***  
Today was a tiring day for Marc. School finished him totally and all he wanted to do was rest or even sleep. Two tests and three cards are the worst that could have happened to him. Despite his exhaustion, he went to the art room after school. He wanted to work a little bit on a new script before he got home. Plus, when Nathaniel arrives it'll cheer him up a bit. He didn't notice when he fell asleep. His head landed on the notebook that was open on the table at the art club. As soon as Nathaniel entered, he saw his little sun falling asleep. He smiled under his breath, looking at his happiness. He thought Marc deserved a little sleep, so he sat quietly next to his boyfriend and began drawing new scenes for their comic book.

A few minutes later, Marc woke up. For a while, he barely made contact, but finally woke up for good.

\- Hey, sleepy boy. Nathaniel replied. A moment later, he only stroked his lover's head.

He was cute.

***  
Marc was grateful that Nathaniel was just there for him. They both lived it all but continued to support each other. He loved him very much, he could even lay down his life for him. The red-haired man was what could be called happiness in the life of a black-haired man. If he had asked, Marc would have done anything for him. He did not want to leave him, but he knew that if he did not recover, he would have to. He will have no choice. His heart fell to the sight of his sad and broken fiance. He loved him, so he couldn't imagine how much he was hurt at the sight of sadness or tears on his beloved's face. Despite Nathaniel pretending to be a tough guy and trying not to show his weakness, Marc could see how it all hurt him. Each tear of the blue-eyed man was one pin that was digging slowly and painfully into his weak heart. He wanted Nathaniel to stop suffering. He wanted to do something to save his beloved tomato in life. He loved to call him that, even though the other hated it. The only plus was that it was his own tomato. His sweet and adorable little tomato. If anyone had asked him how they had been together for so long, he would have replied that he loved the idiot too much. He couldn't just stop loving him. It felt like it was impossible.

He couldn't imagine life without Kurtzberg, and apparently the other had the same problem. They both felt like they needed each other, just like that. Probably no one could imagine a life without his love of life. He knew that such a life would be sad, colorless, colorless and without happiness. He wouldn't have anyone to care for, talk to him about how much he loves him and why, this tie doesn't suit him. He wouldn't have anyone to talk to about the new story, for their comic book, and about what happened to him at work that day.

He didn't want to imagine it. But he knew that when he died, Nathaniel would collide with such a reality. The one where Marc isn't there.

It was fucking painful.


	3. Honey, don't cry

Day after day, turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Nathaniel felt as if the four months were one day. Every day was the same. He got up, ate whatever for breakfast, pulled himself together, and went to work. After returning from work, he would buy some flowers (not a lot, because you can't bring into the hospital, more than four) that he would buy specially for his beloved and take something he liked to eat, Marc. Sometimes he even took his sketchbook to the hospital to show some of his works to his beloved. He missed him in their apartment. It was awfully quiet without him. Whenever he was at home with black hair, he added warmth and joy to his miserable life. He gave him strength and made him get out of bed at all. Honestly, he missed the warmth of his beloved next door.

September was approaching. Nathaniel hated fall, and it was approaching inexorably. The only plus was that it was his son's birthday in October. The only thing that worried him was that Marc's condition was getting worse. He didn't know how to feel about it. He didn't know what to do. He watched Marc slowly die, and his heart cut to pieces. He hated seeing his love like this, but he didn't want to leave him alone. He would feel hopeless with that. What was he saying? After all, that's how he felt! Currently, the redhead was at work. He couldn't focus on her at all because he was too worried about his lover. He tried to concentrate on what he was supposed to do, but could not and could not. As if something was blocking him. He was getting fed up with it all, the work was just killing him more. He wanted to cry like a little child, he felt so helpless. But he knew he couldn't afford to break down. He did not want to disappoint his beloved rainbow. He really wanted to help him, but didn't know how. He worried for hours and was afraid that tomorrow, for example, they would call from the hospital and give him the message he was most afraid of. He was fucking scared of this news. Because of all this, he couldn't sleep at night and the only thing that helped him sleep was the sleeping pills.  
He banged his head on the table. He felt everyone's eyes on him, but he ignored it. He no longer cared what people would think of him. He felt that they didn't know his situation anyway, so they shouldn't even pay attention to him. He slowly lifted his head, which hurt him. He had to go back to work, he didn't want to waste time after work because he was going to go to his fiancé, to the hospital. Everyone turned their heads at once, then resumed their duties. He sighed a little with relief. He didn't notice when Marinette came over to him. Even though the publishing house blue-eyed worked with as an illustrator was next to Marinette's work, he didn't know why she was here.

\- Nathaniel, are you okay? she asked. There was worry and concern in her voice.

\- Yeah, it's okay, Marinette. he sighed, then returned to his duties.

\- Okay, I believe you. But remember, if something happens, call me. she announced, then left.

\- Well. he already whispered to himself. For a while, he couldn't motivate himself to continue working, so he took out his phone. He turned it on and stared at his wallpaper for a moment. Marc was smiling. He smiled immediately. - I love you. he whispered, really soft.

He put the phone back on, then went back to work. He felt a little better.

***  
Marc was sitting in a sweater, under a blanket on a hospital bed, staring at his phone. He felt worse and worse, but he didn't want to worry Nathaniel. He was afraid to tell him that he would probably die soon. At least he will leave happily, after all, he spent a large part of his life with Kurtzberg, which gave his life some color. He did not regret meeting and loving Nathaniel. He could honestly admit it was the happiest thing in his life. After all, he had already come to terms with the fact that he would die. All he wanted was for Nathaniel not to cry and be sad when he was gone. To his ears, heard the sound of the door opening. He turned his head towards the white door, and a red-haired man appeared in front of his eyes. He was a bit drenched and held four red roses in his hand.

\- Hey darling. he said hoarsely, looking at his lover. With a gentle gesture of his hand, he motioned for him to sit on the bed. The red-haired man put the flowers on the table next to his beloved's bed, and then sat down on the mattress. The green-eyed man immediately noticed that his beloved was depressed and sad. For this, he also had bags under his eyes. - Are you okay, honey?

\- Do not leave me.  
There was silence. Marc didn't know how to respond to what he heard. It hurt him. Nathaniel's voice was pleading and sad. He sounded like he was really losing hope and strength. He saw tears welling up in the eyes of the other. He quickly pulled him close. After a while, he felt blue-eyed shaking and sobbing as his sweater was getting wet. He was silent, just stroking his hair. Little did he know that all this had left a huge mark on the psyche of his tomato. He tried to calm him down somehow, but he didn't know how. Many times he saw Nathaniel in the pit, or how he cried ... But he never cried that hard. He didn't know how long it was when he finally managed to calm his fiancé. Despite this, Nathaniel refused to get out of his embrace, so he didn't say anything.

\- Sorry, honey it really doesn't depend on me. he sighed. - But remember, I may die, but I'll always be here somewhere. I will watch over you. he said slowly, stroking his beloved. - Just please do something for me.

\- What? He looked up at Marc.

\- Don't cry and don't forget about me. he replied. "I know it will be difficult, but do it for me, okay?" he looked at him.

\- Okay, I'll try.

\- I love you, you know? The black-haired man asked.

\- I know. I you too. he breathed a little.

\- I want you to be happy, that's what I care about the most, so you should not break down. - he smiled.

They spent some time together until the nurse announced the end of visiting time. Marc said goodbye to Nathaniel and went to bed as Nathaniel slowly made his way to the apartment.


	4. Something that came unexpectedly (epilogue)

It was night. Nathaniel didn't know why, but he couldn't sleep. As he normally felt like constantly sleeping and felt exhausted, now he couldn't close his eyes for more than three minutes. He did whatever he usually did to help him sleep. Starting with drinking mint, imagining a fiancé next door, ending with drinking warm milk. But it didn't do anything. He felt terrible.

He was currently lying on the bed staring blankly at the ceiling. He felt something bad was going to happen. He could feel it in his bones. He didn't know what to do with himself. In addition, the apartment was terribly quiet. As always, ever since Marc was hospitalized. He loved him and was worried that he would wake up one day and really hear that his happiness was dead. It just went away. He lay there, not feeling the phone vibrate. When the sound of an incoming call finally reached his ears, he got up to sit down and reached for the phone. When he saw the hospital number, his heart skipped and his breathing quickened. With a trembling hand, he clicked the red button. As soon as he put the phone to his ear, he heard the doctor.

\- Mr. Nathaniel Kurtzberg? asked the low-pitched man.

\- Yes, what is it? he asked, but he could barely breathe. He was starting to worry slowly. There was no right to make a mistake.

\- It's about Mr. Marc Anciel. he replied.

\- What's with him?! he asked, all stressed out. This man really was starting to scare him.

\- Unfortunately, around two-thirty, he died. he said with sympathy in his voice. - We did our best, but we failed. He stopped breathing. At this point, the phone fell from Nathaniel's hand. He hung up quickly.  
Tears streamed from his eyes. It felt like the world had completely collapsed. His happiness ... his beloved died. He's gone. Disappeared. His life just didn't make sense. His crying turned to spasmodic and hysterical sobs. He didn't know what to do. The only thing that stuck in his mind were the doctor's words. Marc really died. He wanted to disappear, die if only to be by his love. He just wanted to hug him, say that he loves him more than life and say goodbye. He didn't know what to do. The only thing he could, and what he had the strength to do, was to cry on the pillow. He sobbed for a long time. He didn't even know when he fell asleep, exhausted by sobbing. He did everything, paid the treatment, supported his beloved in the fight against the disease and did everything he could. He slowly stopped believing that Marc would be able to win over the cancer as he began to feel more and more unwell.

***

The funeral was held a week later. It was hard to say Nathaniel looked good because he actually looked terrible. He had dark circles under his eyes and bloodshot eyes. In addition, mentally, he also felt terrible. As if someone had taken something from him that he really loved, and it didn't even deviate from the truth. He lost the most important and beloved person in his life. He did not know what to do with himself, the family and closest friends of his deceased fiancé showed up at the funeral. He felt terrible and ill and he didn't even hold back the tears flowing to his eyes. He allowed himself to cry among people he knew. For the first time in his life, he proved to be weak. But it didn't interest him. Who wouldn't cry when the closest person you loved really dearly and with whom you spent twelve beautiful and happy years to die?  
When the ceremony was over, the redhead stayed behind, but before they all left, Marinette approached him. There were mascara streaks on her cheeks and her eyes were glazed over, but what caught his attention the most was some sort of envelope in her hand.

"Nathaniel because ..." she began, then took a deep breath. - Marc gave it to me before he died. He made me give it to you after the funeral. I haven't looked in there, but I know Marc would love you to read it. She handed him the envelope. - I'm on the run, see you Nate. she said, and after a while she was gone.

Despondent, he sat down on the bench, then opened the letter. He was afraid of what he might read there, but it's probably normal.

***  
October 19, 20XX

Dear Nate!

I hope you will receive this letter from Marinette. I sincerely hope she hasn't opened it and looked at what I wrote to you. Okay, maybe I'll cut to the chase.  
All I want, Nate, is that you don't break down totally after I'm gone. If I see you don't care for yourself, I'll be furious. Very furious. You don't want that, do you? Oh, Nate, what do I have with you ... I will not probably sit normally and calmly in the afterlife, because I will have to look after you. In fact, I always had to make sure that you sleep, eat and drink. Just in the world, you forgot about it. It was one trait that I hated about you, and I will always hate it, that you neglect yourself.  
You know that I love you? Yen, why am I even asking, you know it. Never forget that I love you. If you ever forget it once, I'll be really sorry. In this letter I want to tell you some important things that you must remember and carry out. I will know if you don't make them. Really, I'm not kidding. If you were laughing at this point, know that that's what I meant. Just for a moment, would you laugh because you have a beautiful laugh, baby.  
Okay, I'll go back to what I want you to at least try to achieve. First, be happy and not cry. As it is not too often. Second, honey, if you feel mentally ill after my death, go to therapy. The only thing I want is your happiness and when you die, you will feel broken and you will think that your world has collapsed, don't be afraid to go to therapy. There are people who can help you.  
Finally, third, find yourself someone. I want you to make a life for yourself because I love you, Nate.

I will always love you.  
I love you, your Marc  
Ps. only yours

***

Nathaniel smiled through his tears as he looked down at the bright piece of paper on which he had seen his late fiancé's handwriting.

\- I'll try, honey. He replied softly, a tear running down his cheek.

He felt only a gentle touch of the wind.

End


	5. Appendix 1 Bad Sleep (alternative ending)

Nathaniel stood up quickly, crying and shocked. This dream ... was so realistic. It felt like it really happened, all the scenes he saw in his dream seemed to be happening. As if they were not reality, but a sad reality. His breathing was quick and his tears were dripping down with sweat, he was exhausted. This one nightmare was too exhausting, he hid his face in his hands. He felt someone moving next to him. Marc looked at her husband with a concerned expression on his face. He touched gently the reddish strands of love.

\- Honey, what happened? he asked, concerned. He knew Nathaniel had suffered from nightmares and other sleepwalkers, but he never woke up in such a terrible state from sleep. - You know what? I'm going to make you some tea and you'll tell me right away. he replied and he wanted to get up, but he felt the redhead grab his wrist, pulling him towards him. - Should I stay? he asked. He only answered a slight nod of the head. He returned to his seat, next to her husband, and the other snuggled up against him.

\- Do not leave me. the red-haired man muttered softly, hugging Marc very tightly, around the waist.  
\- I'm not gonna, Nate. The black-haired man sighed, stroking the other man's hair. - Everything's gonna be okay, honey. he replied, then kissed the top of his head. - You can't get rid of me that easily.

Only a slight laugh from Nathaniel, exhausted and weeping, answered him. He loved how he laughed, it was his honey for his heart and ears. He smiled gently, then embraced him and started stroking his back. He was very worried about his husband, he had nightmares and was always exhausted after dreams, but he never said that. Sam has barely overcome his social anxiety after a dozen or so visits to the therapist, but there are no such things as blue-eyed.

\- So you are going to tell me what you dreamed? he asked, braiding a red strand of hair over his finger. -Hmm?

Nathaniel finally calmed down a bit. He took a deep breath, then pressed closer to Marc.

"I dreamed that ..." He broke off. - you died of a terminal disease. he sniffed.

Marc was stunned. This nightmare had to be really realistic, because the rest of it was nothing.

\- Take it easy. he kissed his forehead. - Come on, let's go to sleep. I'll be right here next to you, come on. - He said.

They both went to sleep. And this time, Nathaniel didn't have a nightmare.


	6. Appendix 2 An evening at the beach

The sun was slowly setting and the warm sand pressed against the bare feet of Marc and Nathaniel as they walked from where they were staying for about a week to the beach near the motel. They decided to take a little vacation because they were both tired of work and household chores. They finally wanted to go somewhere together, have a good time with each other. They chose the beach, for simple reasons, it was close and inexpensive. Eventually they came to the best part of the beach, according to them. Marc unfolded a dark towel so they wouldn't have to brush off the sand afterwards. They both sat down next to each other, and the redhead put his head on his boyfriend's legs. The green-eyed man involuntarily started stroking and combing the hair of his beloved, enjoying the delicacy and softness of his beloved's strands. A few minutes passed and Marc got a little worried because Nathaniel looked thoughtful. Still stroking the red curls, he decided to ask if something was bothering him.

\- Something wrong, Nathaniel?

Nathaniel turned from his back to his stomach and looked into the green eyes of his rainbow. Blue eyes, with dark and light reflections reflecting the light of the setting sun, stared at green eyes with yellow and dark reflections. Kurtzberg might have tried many times to paint them on canvas, but he knew that he would not be perfect, as in real life. He stared at them as if at the most beautiful sunset. He couldn't take his eyes off the beauty radiated by his treasure. He felt happy to have someone like that in his life.  
"No, it's just ..." He broke off, touching Anciel's soft cheek with his hand. - you know I love you Marc? he asked, stroking his face.

\- Yes, you silly. he laughed, stroking his hair again. There was a bright smile on his face that lit up Kurtzberg's every day. He would give anything to make the green-eyed always smile. In a way, he made this his goal in life because he wanted to make Marc happy as he did his. It was his meaning in life. - Why do you ask? - He asked.

\- Yes, just darling. Just. he replied as if it were nothing. He didn't want to reveal that he had something planned for this evening. Fortunately, Marc didn't realize he was hiding something and looked up at the sky again, going back to stroking Nathaniel's hair. The red-haired boy, however, continued to adore Anciel's appearance and general character. It seemed to him that his black hair, pulled back in a little ponytail, was made of flowers. He didn't know why he thought so. He loved him really much.  
He was happy to be with him for the last five years. He never wanted to lose it. He didn't want to experience it at all, he was afraid of it. It would hurt him too much. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, wanted to start a family with him and grow old with him. It had been his dream ever since he became friends with him. He had loved him for a long time and felt the feeling grow more and more with each passing day. He didn't know what he deserved, an Angel like Anciel. He felt like he really didn't deserve him. At one point, he got up from the lying position and sat down next to the black-haired boy. He leaned on his shoulder as he watched the sunset as it sank more and more westward. He took a small box in one hand and took one bright hand, the green-eyed one in his.

\- Marc. he accosted him.

-Mhm?

\- Marry me. he replied quickly.

\- Ok. Wait… ”He broke off. - What?

\- Marry me. he said again.

\- Wait ... Are you proposing to me? asked the confused, black-haired man.

\- Yeah. - He said unimpressed, blue-eyed. - Marc, love of my life, my muse ... Marry me. - He touched his face, drawing it to him. - So how? Will you marry me, sweetie? - he smiled.  
\- Yes. Marc replied softly, flushed and amazed. He didn't notice when Nathaniel bit into his mouth, pulling him closer to him.

Yes, this evening was magical for both of them.


End file.
